Recently, I started working in Charles Darwin University's IT department. I'm on the helpdesk, and get barraged with an infinite number of emails asking questions all day; some silly, some very, very hard to fix.
Surviving in IT isn't particularly easy so I've come up with a number of ways to live through it. Today was mixed metaphor day. Below are a few excerpts from mails I sent out.
On waiting for a fault to re-occur: "A watched kettle gathers no moss."
On solving a problem using the off-and-on-again method; "Glad we saw the light at the end of the rainbow quickly there."
On a problem getting held up; " sounds like your rolling beanstalk is gathering moss. "
On a guy being very busy; "I know you guys are juggling a lot of magic beanstalks at the moment..."
On a job being completed; " Donna will be as happy as a pig in a barrel."
On a phishing mail being reported; "a stitch in time saves shooting fish in a haystack."
On forms; "a form in the hand is worth two in the haystack."
On being thanked for doing a good job; "They do say I’m the beanstalk at the end of the rainbow."
On being called up for using awful metaphors; "There’s no point crying over spilt eggs in the one haystack."
On taking your chances with a new idea; "If that’s the case you’ll just have to plan your magic beans and see if they gather moss."
On finishing a job; "I’m glad we could put that sleeping horse to rest."
